When Did Anger & Dropping the F-Bomb Become Measures of Caring?

For pride is spiritual cancer; it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense. -C.S. Lewis

Pride is concerned with who is right. Humility is concerned with what is right. -Ezra T. Benson

Let all that you do be done in love. -1 Corinthians 16:14

 

I don’t know how it got to this point. But it seems that the world is incessantly shouting at us.

YOU’RE NOT PASSIONATE ENOUGH UNLESS YOU’RE ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING. AND YOU CAN’T JUST BE ANGRY, YOU HAVE TO BE YELLING ABOUT IT.

Everywhere I look there’s another blog post dropping the f-bomb, showing that other blogger who’s boss. Educating someone else.

There’s another blogger or news article yelling at me, shouting at me to care more. Because if I cared more, I would be constantly angry and yelling too.

When did constant anger and yelling ever become the best way to get a point across?

 

I don’t know about you, but when someone is yelling at me, I usually get defensive. I shut-down, stop listening, pull-up my boot straps and start lining up my best remarks for a retaliation.

I get lost in my pride, forget the direction of the conversation, and the value of the person.

I want to win the argument, educate this other person, or make them feel just as crappy as they’re making me feel.

How did it get to this point? I hate it.

 

And maybe that other person is wrong. And maybe we are right, but when did it hurt to just listen?

How do we expect the world to change by yelling? Are we losing sight of who people truly are? Are we losing sight of the value of a person in order to prove a point?

Because if we really took a step back, we’d see that this person is worth more than our tireless words. This person is worth more than the point we are trying to educate them about.

This person is loved by God. And that means something.

 

We may not have the same background, education, family-life, physical or mental abilities, socioeconomic status, political affiliations, religious beliefs, or food preferences.

But if we really care about people, we would show them they are valued, they are loved.

 

I’m not saying there are no points to be made, arguments to be had, or fights to be won. But, what damage are we causing along the way, when we disregard the value of the person in the conversation?

Maybe the world needs a little more humility before it needs another f*** you. Maybe the world needs a little more silence, a little more listening, before it needs another prideful response (myself included).

 

Until we admit we have a heart issue, I don’t think we’ll get very far. I think we’ll carry on like nothing is wrong, and we’ll live on a hill of arrogance, pride, and self-denial.

We’ll fail to see that the problem with the world doesn’t start with another person, it starts with us.

Remember, Mom, You Deserve to Dance

Mother’s Day is tomorrow. And for most moms with little ones, it’s not always a day filled with relaxation, breakfast in bed, massages, and mimosas.

Most of us will still be changing the dirty diapers, wiping sticky fingers, chasing after little people, and preparing family meals.

Motherhood is hard.

I don’t think I ever realized how hard it could be until I was suddenly thrown into it when my son was placed in my arms. Yes, we are well past the newborn stage, but there’s always a new stage. And the new stage only lasts a few months. And then it’s on to another stage of life.

The new normal is getting used to the constant change that comes with my son’s growing body, heart, and mind.

In the middle of all that I have experienced in young motherhood, the most important lesson I’ve learned is to dance.

 

Why is dancing so important you ask?

Because when I remember to dance, I’m reminded not to take things so seriously. I remember to enjoy the little moments of togetherness. To treasure young motherhood in all that it encompasses. The crazy. The emotional. The snuggles. The food thrown on the floor. The little hugs and kisses. The numerous diaper changes. The chubby legs. The diaper explosions. And the best little laugh in the world.

With all the ups and downs of motherhood. With all the flops, mommy do-overs, and extra tissues for the days with teary eyes… this mom needs to dance.

 

Our family dances.

We dance to The Temptations, Taylor Swift, The Beach Boys, Sam Cooke, Chicago, Daft Punk, The Killers, The Beatles, Selena Gomez, Chris Tomlin, Temper Trap, The Newsboys, Frank Sinatra…you name it, we dance.

It’s usually completely spontaneous, but we dance. The music takes over and we just have fun, enjoying the moment.

I love watching my son dance. He’s now at the age where if any tune comes on the radio or television, he wants to move his little body. One arm will lift up high to touch the sky, and his other arm will stay at his side. He’ll occasionally do a spin or bounce. But, he loves music. It doesn’t matter if it’s a commercial jingle, a cartoon theme song, or the number one song on the radio; he just wants to dance.

 

In the midst of motherhood, momma, will you remember to dance? Yes, I’m talking to you (and myself).

Will you remember to take some time to sway your body, move your feet, and sing at the top of your lungs?

 

Mom, for this Mother’s Day, turn the music up.

Remember, Mom, you deserve to dance.

3 Essentials I Need as a Woman, Wife, & Mom

Being alone has a power that very few people can handle. -Steven Aitchison

Silence isn’t empty. It’s full of answers. -Unknown

Whatever you do in an ongoing way will shape you and ultimately rule you. -Mark Albrecht (summarized John Owen quote)

Sometimes you just need to get off the grid and get your soul right. -Unknown

 

As a wife and a mom, it’s no surprise that it can be difficult to find time for myself. With having multiple responsibilities, it can put me into a tailspin if I don’t stop and get my soul right. Here are the three essentials that this mom needs…

1) I Need Time with My Girlfriends & Other Moms

MOPS (Mom’s of Pre-schoolers) has been essential for me this past year. MOPS provides a safe and welcoming atmosphere for moms of young ones, like myself, to connect. I have never once regretted going to a MOPS meet-up. The ladies at my table have wonderful, sacrificial hearts. Our bi-weekly meet-ups have provided opportunities to talk, listen, laugh, cry, play games, and encourage one another in the trenches of motherhood. MOPS has been a wonderful way for me to connect with ladies that know exactly what it feels like to be in this stage of life.

Along with MOPS, I have found it is important to stay connected with my friends (some single, some married, some with kids, and some without). It’s hard to find time to meet up with friends, but I know that when we put it in our schedules, it becomes a priority. We make the effort to meet-up, socialize, and share our hearts. Also, staying connected throughout social media is a blessing! It’s fun to share goofy memes, comment on photos, keep up-to-date, and just stay connected through the web when we can’t meet in person.

 

2) I Need Time with My Husband

My husband and I out on a date day for a couple of hours.

If you have been reading my blog, you probably know that my husband and I have committed to doing two date nights a month. We put them in our calendar back in February, and we’ve been sticking to them. Like everyone else’s marriage, ours continually needs a relationship-check-in or check-up. We’ve found communication to be extremely important. After having our son, and continuing work, along with other obligations, it can be difficult to find time together. I can’t remember how many dates we had in 2016, but I can tell you, it wasn’t that many.

After making the 2-dates a month commitment, it’s really helped our marriage grow and thrive. We laugh more often, we share our hearts, and we just have fun. It’s a time to be ourselves, away from family obligations, work, and other distractions. It hasn’t been easy to keep these dates throughout the month, and some of them haven’t been “all fun” as life isn’t always gum drops and roses. But, the dates have allowed us to spend time together and learn from one another. It’s a wonderful reminder that we are in this together- for better or for worse.

 

3) I Need Alone Time

As a mom, it’s never easy to find time alone. Even when my son is napping, there’s always something gnawing at me- reminding me of all that I need to do. The dishes are calling my name, dinner isn’t ready, the floors are sticky and need to be swept, the laundry is piling up, or that next blog post isn’t coming along as quickly as I would have liked. Life screams at me to keep going, keep hauling, keep trucking along.

Occasionally, I won’t take the quiet time. I tell myself I’ll do it later (which never happens). Or I start thinking of all the things that need to get done for the day and feel overwhelmed at what lies ahead. I lose sight of the BIG picture. I lose sight of what I’m really living for and who I’m living for.

Alone time gives me the ability to think without all the distractions and noise. It reminds me that all of this is temporary. It begs me to look at this day and ask the right question: “What really matters?”

The quiet brings out true emotions, thoughts, and sometimes turmoil. It can be a battle in my mind between accepting the silence or trying to fill it.

The quiet is a reminder that the peace of God is ultimately given in Jesus, not a laundry list of completed tasks.

And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. –Philippians 4:7

Let our hearts admit, “I am poor and weak. Satan is too subtle, too cunning, too powerful; he watches constantly for advantages over my soul. The world presses in upon me with all sorts of pressures, pleas, and pretences. My own corruption is violent, tumultuous, enticing, and entangling. As it conceives sin, it wars within me and against me. Occasions and opportunities for temptation are innumerable. No wonder I do not know how deeply involved I have been with sin. Therefore, on God alone will I rely for my keeping. I will continually look to Him. –John Owen