Blogging is scary in so many ways.
For those that blog, you know that blogging reveals a part of ourselves and our lives that can’t be expressed in other ways.
Writing is such a unique form of expression. It allows us to share, analyze, and delve into our hearts in order to express feelings, thoughts, and emotions that may not be easily expressed in other forms of communication.
Writing is a time of reflection. There is power in written word. It has shaped and transformed me this past year.
Blogging has allowed me to be more transparent. It’s allowed me to grow in many ways that I don’t think I could have otherwise because I have set aside this time to write, reflect, pray, and think in ways that the busier parts of my day don’t allow.
By sitting down to write, I have become more reflective and shared much of myself and my experiences that continue to mold and shape me into the person that I am.
But, blogging is once again, scary.
It’s scary because it makes me question, how much do I share? How much is too much? How much is not enough? Is this helpful? What will people think? Does it matter what others think? How is this a reflection of where I am in life?
It’s also scary because anyone and everyone can read what I post. It’s amazing, humbling, and yet scary. Words are powerful. Information is powerful, and so much can be done with it.
I want to remain respectful of my family’s privacy, but I also want to share and be real with the struggles and joys that come with our life. It’s tough balancing the two. There are always certain times to share and certain times to remain silent.
I’m still trying to figure out the two.
As I reflect back on this past year of blogging, it has been an amazing journey. I’ve learned that the process entails so much more than just writing because there’s so much that goes into owning a website and maintaining it. I love learning about all of it, but I think it’s important to take a step back and reflect.
Outright, stopping and reflecting is sometimes difficult for me to do.
I’m usually wanting to go full speed ahead, sticking to the “plan”, and then planning for the next part of the “plan”. But, growth doesn’t happen when we move full speed ahead; growth happens when we can be humble enough to stop, look back, reflect, and then take the right step forward. And sometimes it’s an unknown step forward.
So much of blogging this past year has been about reflecting, and I love that, but it’s also terrifying. It makes me really look at my life- how I spent my time, what relationships were important, and how I changed or stayed the same.
With this blogging experience, I’ve come to the realization that I need to cut certain things out of my life that are unnecessary and possibly holding me back from something greater.
God’s been there nudging me, asking me, and patiently waiting for me to give these things up. It’s not that they are “bad” per se, but they’re holding me back. They’re unneeded at this time, and these things take up time.
Time is a valuable resource.
I hold on to these things in my life for fear that I will lose them, miss them, and forever regret giving them up. But, what I sometimes fail to see is that with giving some things up, I’m actually freeing myself to a greater calling- a greater fulfillment.
It’s hard to let go. It’s hard to trust in the One who provides sometimes.
But a big part of having faith is trusting. And I’m learning to trust. Slowly, but surely, I’m learning to trust in Him in all things.
With that said, I am cutting certain things out of my life for the month of July- and possibly forever. I’m not sure that I’m ready or willing to share what these things are at this time. I’m hoping that July will truly be a month of serious reflection, time with my family, time in prayer, in the Word, and journaling.
I will still be writing, but I’m not sure yet whether I will take the time to blog for the month of July or if I will just be journaling privately. I have loved this blogging journey, and I’m excited to be continuing it for another year, hopefully!
By August, I’m hoping to be in a new place and have a new and needed perspective. I’m beyond thankful that my husband is on board with this and sees the need for me to have some downtime and quiet time during this next month.
This journey has been incredible. And I’m thankful for the ongoing support, comments, and encouragement as I continue to blog.